Race Day ..... poem

Race Day

With a huge hollow tree, unique

towering high over the town

Lava Tree folk held an annual race

which drew in heaps of renown

With a race like no other, ever

held every last Sunday in May

the folk would test their wit and mirth

in a most unusual way

Crowds gathered in town from miles around

some to race, and some to rage

and news hounds came too, with cameras

to report from the country stage

The sheep parade came first

to select the prettiest ewe in the land

freshly washed wool, and coloured ribbons

made them all fluffy, alluring and grand

Then came time for the unexpected

with the sheep that were taught a tune

trained to bleat songs with a range of barrrs

they were thunderous when in the mood

As if no act could beat the ewes

the dancing lambs were extra cute

it doesn't take much to make a lamb jump

and prance to a spirited tune

Then the hour came for the race of the day

that all in the town were expectin

when the competing thrones were revealed

the outhouses rigged up for racin

The farmers sat in their dunnies on wheels

with seven strong rams for the pullin

and a dog on their backs for the barkin

to make them go faster than sinin

Poised on the line for a run round the town

the rams all frisky and ready to go

the dogs making circles on the sheep's backs

and the farmers all poised for the show

Never had there been such a colourful field

of outhouse painted like jockey race tops

all of the rainbow, with pennants to fly

and ready, set, go from the stops

Then the pig was released. But why?

There was never a reason, just tradition

to tell the field that its time to fly

to leap to the fore, and no hesitation

Distracted by pig, sheep stood and stared

despite canine bark, snarl and goad

then farmer Maple gained the jump

and her rams were off down the road

But poor farmer Maple was on her back 

in an outhouse now left on the road

as her rough team of rams led the field

and all she could do was go home

Penants a'flyin and outhouses jumpin along

farmer Cripes missed the turn with a streak

takes to the air like a mythical god

and makes a mighty splash into the creek

At the turn by the tree, farmer Muddle

left the road, where the rams ran inside

the hollow tree, which was busy

where squeals and screams ends his ride

Surviving outhouses were flying with zest

in a cloud of barks and barrrs

where farmer Doom took to the lead

until losing a wheel midst a flock of galahs

The home stretch came into sight

with crowd roaring the teams along

dogs barking with all the  excitement

as rams barrred louder and strong

The finish line ribbon was snapped

and the winner awarded the prize

in tradition a tiny outhouse, in bronze

as a reminder of a jolly good ride

So ends the Lava Tree race day

with everyone gone to the bar

singing songs from the old days

leave'n the sheep outside to barrr

Jaqi

Bluh

Saturday

8

December

2018

NOTE ~   A great day!!! This is poem number 21 in the Poems Galley. If you haven't read ~ Lava Tree ~ it may help if you do, as this poem is the second in a series about a country town with a very large hollow tree.

"With the invention of indoor plumbing, outhouses have mostly become a thing of the past. Yet many frontier cities in the United States still hold an affection for the wooden sanctuary, paying it a special kind of homage each year."

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20130605-toilets-take-to-the-streets-in-annual-us-outhouse-races

And there be rules for Outhouse Racing in the Iowa State Fair ~

https://www.iowastatefair.org/upl/downloads/participate/contests/fairtime-contests/outhouse-races.pdf

While asking Mr Google about “outhouse racing”, try the Images, and you will see that it even happens on the snow.

And in Canada.

I like the steam train version.

And a TARDIS.

And one loo in a prison cell.

Toilet paper for a finnish line.

Will there be outhouse racing in space? ~

https://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=38953&src=pin-toilet-lift-off

And also ~

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/video-portable-toilets-make-surprisingly-good-rockets-2014-12

There’s a whole other world out there in the crystal ball for outhouses …..

When living in Murdunna in the 1980s, the owner of the service station in Dunalley asked me to make a drawing from his house across Boomer Bay. It was quite a wonderful scene. But round to the right, in awesome view, was an outhouse on a an upraised platform as high as the outhouse. Ummm. I wrote a poem about that, on the spot, likening it to a rocket on the launch-pad, ready to go into space. Later, after receiving the drawing, and paying for the artistry, the service station owner went home with his sketched prize, and after a while, notice the poem that I had left behind. Well, that's one way to crack somebody up (which means, to make them laugh).