O Dear
Saturdee night came round like a wheel
when town folk met in the pub by the creek
sharing tales to liven the stout and the beer
and any good yarns from the previous week
A song would be sung like a Lava Town anthem
with laughter to boot and new verses invented
about a kerfuffle from many years past
that stuck in the memory, quite clear and undented
"O dear, what can the matter be"
some would sing to a tune well-known
but in Lava Tree the words be unique
sprung from history, like a thunderstorm blown
Then fired by a glint in Uncle Tom's eye
it was time to start another distraction
through a trail of beer along the bar
snails would race in some slow motion action
Each numbered with colours like very small jockies
in reverence the racers were placed in position
where eyedroppers would dispense a drop of gin
that was found to spur the snails with ambition
"Poor Aunt Martha was locked in the lavatory"
It was a storm that blew through Lava Tree
uprooting a gum across the entrance of the outhouse
set in a large hollow tree and she couldn't get free
The snails were off at a hectic slow pace
Red Cruncher in the lead as the clock ticked around
followed by Green Slick enticed by more potent gin
and Yellow Razor trailed the field as if nowhere bound
"She was there from Sundee to Saturdee"
due to a total misunderstanding by one and all
everyone believed that old Aunt Martha was in town
and no one went to check or heard her call
Orange Squeezer would not be left behind
and someone muttered it was rum this time
so the eyedropper was tested as if for a drug
but bartender Maddock declared it was fine
"What can the matter be?"
Aunt Martha's fate could have been quite stark
but for the snails that lived around the outhouse
providing tucker for a week of days and dark
It would be another long night at the snail race
as Lava Tree folk shared yarns of horse and mouse
not to mention Aunt Martha's week long marathon
surviving on snails coming into the outhouse
And when finally found and released from the bog
the politest words were heard, that could be state'n
"Where the hell have you lot of useless buggers been?"
inspire'n a town song and an odd tradition of snail race'n
Back at the bar it would be another reason to sing
"O dear what can the matter be?"
as snails were distracted by the birds and the bees
and no gin or rum could unknot that slimy revelree
Jaqi
Bluh
Thursday
10
January
2019
NOTE ~ This poem follows on from two others about the imagined country town of Lava Tree, with a huge hollow tree at its heart, filled with happy country people, and surrounded by farms with jovial farmers, and with a large resident population of sheep ..... Lava Tree ..... and ..... Race Day. ~ Here is the tune for the old song, the moderate version, but hunt, and all the other versions are out there, too.
O Dear, What Can the Matter Be? ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfCzl1WBCr4
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